The puzzle that can never be unraveled

You know what really confuses and frustrates me about this world, all the crap we have to put up with constantly. We either have everything we could possibly ask for, or we have more than enough and are not grateful for it or we live in poverty and fight every day just to make it through another day. 

We have so much loved ones around us yet we feel completely alone as we don't see how another could possibly understand how we feel on the inside, or we have so many fake people around us who only pretend to care, or we literally have no one and learn to be strong enough to make it through on our own, but wish we had just one person to talk to and then a random stranger shows us compassion and we see there really is some humanity out there.

We can be so completely happy with everyone in our lives and have the most perfect life, then we lose someone close to us and it brings down our entire world and changes our view of this world and everything in it in the bigger picture.

The moral is there will always be something that hurts us, but why is this all necessary.. yes the struggles teach us to appreciate all the good, otherwise we would not know how to appreciate all the blessings. 

We really are living in a game, and this is kind of a joke when you think about it. I honestly don't blame those who give up, I can fully understand it..all though it is so sad that they felt they needed to in the first place.

We like to be control freaks in the desire of wanting to help others and reduce there troubles, but the reality is we will never be able to control anyone but ourselves. We can only lead by example and hope that others follow. We all need to turn around and look at ourselves instead of always looking at others faults and blaming them for all that goes wrong, there is always more than one side to a story, whats the point of having regrets, the past can never be changed. We all have it in us to lead peaceful, happy lives but we need to constantly work on ourselves and do what we can to improve any situation we get into from our end first instead of pointing fingers. 

Sometimes we can leave a situation if it doesn't change, but that's not always an option. If this is the case changing your mind set is the only other option, how you react and how you let it make you feel; its all within and that's what we need to learn to control. 

I feel one day I wont be able to talk or express my feelings anymore because I will become so lost for words, this world continues to shock me and I will never be able to comprehend it. You see how I have changed from "we" to "I". This blog is about how I have been feeling, yet I know there will be so many others out there who feel the exact same way.

I just want to say how sorry I am for everyone who is going through terrible struggles and pain right now, but you will make it through because as they say you are only given what you are able to handle. Everyone is in the same boat. People may think you're weird or crazy, but I have understood that everyone will turn crazy at one point in their lives because this world is a craz in itself, you would be the weird one for not losing the plot once in a while. I wouldn't call it crazy either, I would call it trying to grasp an understanding of why things happen the way they do in the puzzle that can never be unraveled. 

My advise, just breath through the rough times and feel what you need.. it will pass, worship all the beautiful moments of life, never hold any anger or grudges, let those who differ from your beliefs be, you can't change them so just accept them and move on. 

Start to only see the beauty in others or think why they may behave the way they do. There is always a reason for everything so don't be so quick to judge. 

I wrote this for personal therapy to make myself feel better and I must say it has helped. I don't feel weird to share this with you all because I know we are all going through times like this at some stage. I mostly am very happy and love my beautiful life and all the lovely people close to me. It just hurts me when I feel I could fix everything if others would just let me, but that's okay its not in my hands. 

A few last words to finish up..

Stay kind, calm and compassionate, and always put yourself in others shoes before you judge. Yes important to fight for number one first, but keep others in mind also. 

Travel - Destination Dunedin (New Zealand)

What I love about travel is the feeling it gives you, it's almost a feeling of being reborn and as if you are given a new amazing kick start on life. It is true that when you travel that you get to know yourself better and you find a piece of you that you never knew was missing. You feel this empty feeling, yet bliss at the same time.  You look around at new surroundings and think how beautiful our world really is and all that you have been missing out on by not making travel an essential on the bucket list earlier. No matter what happens in life experience must always be a part of this journey; we can not always control everything, but as long as goals are set, actions are planned and taken we can actually make a lot of things happen for ourselves, even if we did not think it was possible at one stage. Everything is possible, as an idol of mine once said "nothing is impossible, the word itself says I'm possible" - Audrey Hepburn.  As the quote in the above picture states, the experience of travel is also for the experience you never had, the unknown that awaits you.

We take life and all we have for granted sometimes, we take a quick glance at our regular surroundings without much thought and forget to appreciate the history behind all that we are so blessed to have. The thing with travel is, there comes opportunity to appreciate history because as you see new objects, buildings and landscapes for the first time you are blown away and think wow I wish we had these beautiful historic artifacts in my town. You start taking pictures, and just stand there staring at the beauty that stands before you, you take it all in as much as you can, yet still remain speechless. I love the feeling of actually appreciating something, in that moment not only are you giving thanks by showing gratitude but you are also nourishing yourself with the goodness of the universe as you are inviting positive energy to consume you. Appreciation is one of the most beautiful feelings you can feel and it should be exhausted to the point where not only you feel its vibes, but the world around you feels it also.

I recently flew across to the South end of New Zealand (my home country) to visit my cousin in Dunedin, a beautiful little city I never thought to visit previously. It is mainly a city filled with University students, however when you get there it is not the student trashed city you may think it to be. The students walk the streets dressed in sports gear as it is more versatile for walking and rather than use a car to get from A to B they use walking as a main form of transport. Walking to get to your destination is very common in Dunedin as everything is so close together, one of the perks of a small city. I loved this casual vibe, but not only was it casual, everyone dressed in fashionable leggings and runners which made the sporty look of Dunedin very attractive to the eye. 

I visited so many beautiful places, many of which included a lot of history. The train station which hosts the weekly Saturday farmers market was a perfect host for the event. The train station building had great architecture inside and out, and despite its age every aspect was kept intact.

I love how the city takes such great pride in all the aged buildings and continues to keep them well maintained for future generations to enjoy. A great example was the Olveston Historic Home, one family only ever lived there back in the the early 1900's for roughly 60 years, when the last living family member (the daughter of the family) passed away in 1966 the home was left in the hands of the city of Dunedin and was turned into a museum in 1967 for the public to enjoy.

Little has changed within the home, therefore its significance is so cherish-able. Something that blew me away as I walked through the rooms of the house was that the house had three large kitchens, each for different stages of food preparation and clean up aftermath. Unfortunately pictures could not be taken within the house but I did find this photo online of one of the kitchens, in which you can see the oven and stove that was used by the Olveston family, well their servants would have been using them. I highly recommend visiting this beautiful home to anyone who has an appreciation and a lust for history, not to mention the home is filled with accent paintings, which is actually a tour in itself.

              

                   


I visited the University of Otago, the Cadbury factor, the Saint Clair beach, the city center several times and got to see beautiful churches from the outside, which I plan to see the inside of on my next visit, but with travel the sights are not all that attract the soul, food is one of the top attractions of course. I was very impressed with all the meals and foods I got to indulge in. The last meal I had in Dunedin was banoffee flavored gourmet pancakes that were to die for! Not to mention the Monday deal they had to offer, buy one get one free. I had so much to spare that the pancakes ended up flying back home with me and my father was lucky enough to have the rest, he was mind blown.  Being able to share those amazing pancakes and the experience it created for me with my father made me feel  really happy, the thought that I was giving them up didn't even bother me. You can find a whole range of different gourmet pancakes at Capers in Dunedin central, another place I highly recommend.

I loved my first experience of traveling alone, flying over the seas and visiting my beloved cousin after so long. I am very grateful for the wonderful experience I had, the time I had with my cousin and all the memories we created, which I can reminisce over by looking back through all the hundreds of photos and videos we took.

Travel as you can tell means so much more than a new experience, it affects all parts of your life and changes you for the better. 

I am so excited for my next journey, this time across to the other side of the world. I will be sure to blog about my experience, unfortunately this travel will take place in a years time exactly. I may blog about the planning up to it though.

I hope you all enjoyed (only a part of) my Dunedin experience that I have shared with you all and that it has tempted you to add it to a place to visit in the future.

Bring back consciousness

I was sitting peacefully, meditating, when I realized something (while I was in an intentional state of consciousness), a deaf person can not hear even though they may wish to, whilst a hearing person can hear nothing because they have lost consciousness, either by choice or unintentionally. It really is a tragic thought to comprehend that even though we may have the tools we require to listen, see and feel all experiences of human interaction that we do not always use them by choice or because we forget to bring ourselves back to the present moment and give our undivided intention to the moment or those around us. 

We drift off to another time, another place and think of thoughts that may have no relevant's whats so ever to the present interaction. Why do we do this, why do we fear or hate the present moment so much? It's not even so that we hate it, we could be having the best time, yet we still fade away from the present moment. 

In times where you truly are experiencing the happiness and joyousness of a moment, and you feel incredible happiness within, and you stop and realize how grateful you are and in that moment you are completely present and aware of your surroundings; all the love you have around you, all the amazing family and friends you have, the beautiful things around you that you are so blessed to have and experience in this present moment. It is important to hold on to that moment for as long as you possibly can to remain present. 

You may disappear time and time again, but if you are able to bring yourself back and say yes I am grateful and I am present you will be conscious and one step closer to not being unconsciously afraid of the present. 

Being conscious is not only a matter of keeping what is happening in the world around you visible to you but also about showing the person or people around you that you respect them and that you care enough to actually listen and absorb in all that they are saying to you. Sometimes it can be hard to stay focused when the information given to you by an other is found to be boring, but you owe every human being enough respect to try your best to listen, least that way you can respond effectively and show that person you care and appreciate what they have to say. 

Sometimes we do not appreciate or give enough affection for what others have to say, what we do not always realize is that the words we all create and the messages we produce are our own individual works of written/verbal art. I sometimes say something or think or even write a message and will go over and over it in my head and cherish what I just created because it's mine and I see it as the most beautiful creation in the present. I am assuming that everyone else out there may feel the same way at times also. So, let that thought be a helpful reminder to us all to listen or really absorb the information transmitted to us by others around us, we owe it to the respect of humanity, otherwise what does that make us if we do otherwise, programmed robots who have no compassion for others.

It is so easy to drift off and to forget ourselves and others around us, but make it a practice to bring yourself back to the present moment and use all of your senses to experience all you can. Cherish the present as it is all you are guaranteed to have.  

We are so far developed that we forget to be present yet we still unconsciously are able to know how to function within our environment, in our day to day life's, its like we only have to remain focused at the time of learning how to do something new and every other time after we can drift off and function like a mechanism within society. I would say it could be both a good and a bad thing at the same time.

It does make life easier to bare at times to block the present out, however it is a scary thought that we may lose control some day and make an error in judgement due to a decision made without the conscious mind. Therefore, make the practice of consciousness a daily routine just like any other activity, and you will be amazed how the world around you will change and how it changes you within. 

Be what you really are, consciousness. 

Create the life you want through your actions

Life is going to be tough here and there, it's been designed that way by the creator. In the hardest of times we often put far to much focus on how many struggles we have to face each day and pay to much attention to the things we want to get rid of or want to change. What we may not realize is that by putting focus on the negative things we are feeding into the creation of further horrible things to occur in our life's.

We need to change this, and take our focus elsewhere.

If you want things to change, the bad experiences to disappear and for good things to come you must take actions to make this all possible. Instead of drowning away your sorrows through the consumption of alcohol, drugs and smokes and making life worse for yourself how about doing something that will actually make your wishes come true. 

I have grown up around far too many people who resort to alcohol as a comforter and I never could understand why, why harm yourself that way, why put your mind and body in such a state where you do not even have control over your actions. Is engaging in such activities going to solve all your problems? NO! I know that since I have never felt the need to resort to such methods of relief that I am in no position to understand what it feels like to be driven down this path, however I still feel there are better alternatives out there, which will result in more desirable outcomes.

 Enough of the negative, lets get productive and make life what we want it to be.

Life is meant to be beautiful, appreciated and made the best possible use of. We have a wonderful gift that has been given to every single one of us and that is the opportunity to live a life where we can make our own happiness and encourage the happiness of others.We are all one and all forever connected, that's why I feel the need to support you all and make your realize that you can change your life for the better and find peace/happiness. 

Lets start with an example of a possible struggle one may face and what actions can be taken to remove that struggle and turn it into a blissful experience that was had with the purpose of opening the eyes of the beholder. You are trapped in a job that you absolutely hate, you feel uncomfortable around the people you work with and you spend hours dreading the thought of having to go back to another day of work. You continue to feel this way for many months, before you know it a year has past and you feel like you are stuck in absolute hell. You feel very unhappy in your life and as a result this is affecting other parts of your life, such as your relationships and you feel anxious most of the time and even depressed. 

The obvious answer is to find a new job right? Yes, but it's not as simple as that, especially for someone who is trapped in a state where they are tortured by their own mind. The messages of doubt and insecurities that circle the mind constantly can be very difficult to remove. 

It takes time to make changes in our life's, but starting to begin with will make a bigger difference than you may think. Committing to productive actions daily and over many months will change your life and get you out of that state of mind you dread so much. You may think this constant pain in my head will never leave, this feeling that my brain is being squeezed is here to stay, but I know as a person who has experienced this torture for 2 years non-stop that one day it will disappear and you will be free and feel peace again. You need to leave the bad things behind and take the time to work on self development, nothing else matters but your own happiness. All will be well in good time.

Start taking action today, start small and work your way up :).

I have mentioned this in my previous posts, but I will say it again, meditation is something I highly recommend, it is actually the very activity that released my mind from hell and made me feel the love of the entire universe inside of me and all around me. So cheesy, but the truth. I also recommend regular exercise. Exercise helped relax my mind and release stress. 

Actions I took and still take to improve my life:

1) Daily meditation. 

2) Daily exercise.

3) Making sure I have fruit,vegetables and protein everyday, and plenty of water.

4) Plan lots of fun activities to do with friends over the weekends.

5) Have me time where I can reflect and decide what I can do next to make a difference to my own life and others.

6) Be grateful every moment I can be. (I write down ten things I am grateful for each day and give thanks)

7) Breath in fresh air from outdoors and treat it as the greatest luxury.
9) Trying new experiences and making myself get out of my comfort zone.
10) Loving who I am and being my number one cheerleader.

This is what I found was helpful for me, try thinking of a list of actions you could take to help your situation.

We must always remember to keep hope, and know we can handle everything that comes at us, and that we have it in us to be brave and strong.  No matter what battle or battles you are currently going through know that every other living creature out there is going through a troublesome time of their own. Even though we may feel alone in our painful times we actually are all going through this together and use that very thought as encouragement to step up and change something about this picture, and by doing so you will help someone else to the same simply by bringing out your own happiness. 

Make the world a happier place simply by being happier yourself. 

There will come a time where you will feel lost

Lately I have been feeling quite lost in the daily routine of life and will find myself in a moment where I think to myself what is the purpose of all of this, why is time passing so fast and  why do I feel like I am wasting so much of it working when I could be traveling the world and making wonderful discoveries.

I have this confusion and these questions running through my mind, but then my mind comes back to the reality that I must work and live this structured life in order to make my dreams come true; the sad reality is that work equals money and money helps create most dreams. I do love my job, but sometimes I just need a break, I need me time! I have realized that I do tend to have a busy week as a result of work and some form of exercise after work and then on the weekends I catch up with a whole bunch of friends and run around doing all sorts of errands that I do not get a chance to do during the working week and then before I know it I end up having no down time, or time with myself and it is time to go back to a new week of work again.

I find myself doing things that are less kind to my mind and body in the craziness of this busy life style. I read less, I meditate less and when I do my mind is drifting off instead of being present in the moment....Being present in the moment is very hard in this day of age I find, and that's my main concern, it is so important to be present; the future and past is not here so why drift off into a place that isn't even existent right now.

I want to appreciate life like a did a few weeks ago, not be afraid to try new things, make amazing memories, read more, extend my mind and educate it further. I know this is a battle that will come and go just like every other battle each of us may face, the only way is to keep on working on our individual battles each day and when we get to a place that we feel we are progressing along, feel gratitude for that moment. As long as we are doing the best we can do at the time, that is more than enough.

This post has been very therapeutic for me and I feel much better, less lost and back on my path. I really need to make a new book purchase, reading does amazing things for the mind and a great brain exercise.

My goals for the up coming week are to:
-Meditate each day and be as present as I possibly can be.
-Read each day, even if a few chapters of a book or a blog post or article.
-Go outside and inhale and exhale 10 breaths of fresh air daily.
-Drink 5 bottles of water per day.
-Exercise each day, either go to the gym or for a brisk walk.
-Be grateful every moment I can be.
-Have more faith in myself.


Life can take you away a million times, but as long as you bring yourself back every time you will still be alive and free to live the life you choose.

Remember to love yourself first

Valentines day is just round the corner, millions of couple's around the world are looking forward to this special day to express their love for one another, to surprise their significant other with roses and chocolates, but what significance does this day truly have if one does not love them self first.

Yes being loved by another can give you a wonderful feeling, but until you love yourself completely you will always feel empty and incomplete. Before even thinking of celebrating the love of your relationship with someone (whether it be your partner or your best friend) you must celebrate the relationship you share with yourself, it is the most personal relationship you will ever have, and it is this relationship that requires the most nourishment and nurturing (on a day-by-day bases).

Loving yourself can start by loving and respecting the body you live in.

It is so important to take care of the body you have, because as you know you have only been given one in this life time. Drinking plenty of water the moment you wake up is a simple step you can take to nourish your body and pamper yourself. When you drink water you are rewarding yourself with energy for the day, you are telling your body how much love you have for it and how thankful you are for all the hard work your body does each moment of the day just so you can simply live.

Aside from drinking water there is so many other things your can do daily to love yourself; eat healthy, but also indulge in junk food once in a while; why deprive yourself from delicious goodness.
I know eating healthy can sometimes be hard for the mind to comprehend, but it is all down to changing your mindset. Think if I eat healthy I am showing my body how much I appreciate it, I am doing myself a favor, each bite I take of this salad is another dose of love I am giving to myself. Over time this kind of mindset will actually excite you to eat healthy.

It is all about keeping a well balanced eating style.

Eating choices aside, regular exercise is a must! Exercising the body does not only keep you fit and lean, but also keeps the mind healthy. I always find a good session at the gym will remove stress from my mind and uplift my spirits.

Healthy mind, healthy body.

I never used to value myself or even love myself as I should have, but over the past few years I learn't a valuable lesson, that it is so important to love who I am. I started reading more, doing exercise more often, spoiling myself with honey oat facials and painting my nails to bring a bit of color into my day. It is all the little things you can do that make a huge difference in how you feel and think of yourself.

Think of it as magic being created inside of you each time you pamper yourself with goodness, magic which will create more goodness in other areas of your life.

Remember to love yourself first before you can love another.

You are number one priority always.


Action for the day:

Today write up a to-do list of what you will do to show yourself how much you love YOU!

Here is my list:
1) Meditate
2) Have a berry/banana green smoothie
3) Have a workout at the gym
4) Read my Audrey Hepburn book
5) Go for a relaxing drive
6) Drink plenty of water
7) Watch the latest episode of Heart of Dixie
8) Prepare my lunch for work tomorrow (Fill it with protein and vegetables)

Lets do this!

My first blog post.

I am not entirely sure where to start, I have so much to blog about, but I will simply start with a bit about myself, what interests I have and what I believe in as a whole. I am a girl in my mid-twenties, I have thought about blogging for quite some time, and I had decided to add it to my bucket list. Well here I am, can tick that off my list! Yes!!!

Now a bit about myself, I am from New Zealand, a country known for it's clean and green image and no we do not all have sheep in our backyards, however where I live we do have cows and horses ten minutes walk from my place. Speaking of horses, I wish to have a horse one day, another dream to fulfill on my bucket list, and I have no doubt in my mind that I will be able to make it happen, I have learnt that I can not rely on others to make my dreams come true, but if I leave it solely up to myself I can achieve anything I put my mind to (provided I take the actions to make it happen).

In the past few years I have gone through a lot of self discovery, I have changed as a person but also built on and strengthened the person I already was on the inside. I began to really cherish and love who I am, and stop being so hard on myself for things that are out of my control. I have found a new love for life, for experiences, for all the journeys I have taken and will take.

Life has become magical and I feel and see miracles almost every day.

I have gone from a constant negative mindset to a mind that can even see the positives in the negatives. When I feel sad, I let myself feel the sorrow and I know it will pass and light will be around the corner, but I stay productive and do something to help me get back on track again, like go to the gym or go to a one-on-one training with my martial arts instructor; punching and kicking always is a good stress relief or way to make me feel empowered.

I appreciate every little thing I have, even the ability to write this post right now. I feel so excited to be writing this right now, this is a miracle for today, because I just randomly decided to start this blog twenty minutes ago; random unexpected moments are always the best!

A few more things about me....

I have become spiritual over the past year, and I love this new path I have chosen to go down. I have been practicing meditation for roughly eight months now, it has taken some getting used to, sitting still for ten minutes at a time can be hard at first, but over time I got used to it and actually found it calming for the mind. My mind is mostly blank these days, which I really like. I am still able to hold conversations and make the best decisions for myself without really having to juggle the thoughts in my mind first, I just seem to know what to say and do and I am grateful for that. I used to think meditation was lame, well not lame, but something I would never consider doing, just like many other things. Now look at me, doing all these things to help me evolve as human and a soul.

I am getting into yoga slowly, I still struggle as it does get painful for the wrists, downward dog is a mission, but I do enjoy the experience and knowing how good it is for this body that I hold.

Well basically as a whole, I am a very open minded person, who wishes to be a change for this world (note I did not say that I wish to change the world) and help this world change simply by changing myself, well not changing myself per say, evolving myself into the very best I can be.  My existence is for love and I wish to continue to experience everything I possibly can and travel and journey through this life.

I give great value to everyone in my life and value even those who have left my life and harmed me because my life would not be what it is now if it was not for all that I have been through up to now.

Life is an amazing journey, and I am so excited to feel, see and experience all that is to come!

I hope this was a good blog, but was a start. Not sure what I will blog about next, but as I like to be open minded my next post could be about anything really! I wish to keep my identity private for now.

Ciao until next time! :)  (No I am not Italian lol)